I touch the future, I teach

What a load of imperious garbage that is. It is probably my least favorite bumper sticker. Where in the world would the attitude originate that teachers are on some sort of heavenly plane that the rest of us morons are meant to be in awe of? I suppose that it comes from the fact that teachers teach this crap to future teachers.

I’m trying to think of something that is similarly ridiculous. The best that I can come up with is “I touch the ocean, I plumb”. Perhaps “I touch the jail, I prosecute” or maybe “I touch the intestines, I farm”. I don’t think that I can match it, it’s simply too ludicrous. Even more ludicrous is the fact that the rest of us are relegated to the stinking pit that is called “life as a person who is not a teacher and am therefore mired hopelessly in the past”.

We can clearly identify authority issues gone mad with security guards and priests and short policeman. We see them for the sniveling abusers of position that they are. How is it that we collectively accept this behavior from teachers?

Most likely it is because they decided to supplant us in the parenting role, and we allowed it. So I guess it’s our fault. That makes me even angrier at us, than I am at them.

Look at this way. Suppose that we came across the new frontier and a small bunch of us founded ourselves a new community. We would, most likely, engage in things that are good for the public welfare. We would pool our resources and see to things like water and sewage and a jail house. We would decide together that we would like our children to receive an education and we would build a building and hire a teacher or two. We would provide instruction to these teachers as to what topics they should teach our children and expect them to use their education to do their best to reach the students and teach them the subjects that we had in mind. We would offer to pay them if they did a good job and ask them to leave if they didn’t. In this scenario I wouldn’t expect that I would be told that my job was to be a “supportive parent” (which I translate to mean “you will like what I do, no matter what). I don’t think that I would be told, if my child was having trouble grasping a topic that I wasn’t “holding up my end and spending enough time with the child at home”. I think that it would have the same performance base that most of the rest have to deal with in our jobs every day; that is, find a way to achieve or be gone. This seems so logical to me that it astounds me that it is so far from the way that things are today.

For example, I recently had a parent/teacher conference for a 3^rd grader. I have been through many of these. At these “conferences” you generally get to hear about where the child is deficient in learning and why this is the fault of the student or the parent. It has always, always been the same scenario, except for where my child was really excelling and this was solely due to the skills of the teacher. At this most recent conference, the teacher was approximately 24 years old. I have children this age, who are college graduates and if they condescended to me in the way that this young lady did, it would be very hard for me to resist slapping her and telling her to get off of her high horse. It probably isn’t her fault. She was clearly taught to think and behave in this way; furthermore she was no different than nearly every other teacher that I have had the pleasure of being looked down upon by, regardless of age. I have to admit though that it irked me more that she was the same age as my own children.

If you work in industry, do you find 24 year old people that have the attitude that they are supposed to take over peoples lives? If so, would they keep their jobs?

Where the hell did it go so wrong? I have a few ideas. First, teachers forgot that they were supposed to teach the students that are sent to them, rather than attempt to mold them into what they prefer them to be. This explains why the little boys are told to act like little girls. The girls at that age are easier to manage. Of course, this goes against the nature of little boys, and so, predictably, they act out in varieties of ways for which the teacher is completely responsible, yet they hold themselves blameless. A basic truth has been violated here. God Almighty has created us all as individuals. I am going to go with the belief that this is the best way to people the earth, and I can see the beauty of having everyone created in their own unique way. The first job of the teacher, however, seems to be to overrule Gods judgment in creation and attempt to undo his work and re-create all of the kids so that they are exactly the same. And, of course, the same in a way that they can “manage”.

The bigger problem is that the teachers have made themselves Judges. Being the judge they can decide what is best for the kids and begin to “raise” them in the way that they see fit. They also get to judge the parents. It amazes me that we stand for this. I will raise my children. I will do this in the way that I see as best morally and ethically. You, teacher, should stay out of this. It is sacrosanct. It is my job and if you try to take it I am going to yank it back where it belongs. Just do your job. Find a way to teach them the subjects, and treat them as individuals.

And while I’m on the topic, let’s get to this one. Teachers work shorter days than most of us and far, far fewer of them. Stop trying to act like it’s not so. It’s really not too far from being a part-time job. The short days and long and frequent vacations are a good reason to be a teacher. It’s way easier than the schedule that most of us have to keep. And don’t trot out the line about correcting papers and preparing at home. Every professional person I know works at home.

And while we’re touching the future here, being a teacher doesn’t make you any more invested than Aunts or Uncles or Grandparents or Little League Coaches in a kid’s life. It’s not how much time you spend with a person that creates impact (or ownership). I have had a few excellent teachers over a long period of getting educated. I have had some that were horrid. They were mean and they created chaos in my life. So what.

I have had approximately the same number of great teachers as awful ones. About 3 each. All of the rest didn’t matter. I find this ratio to be about the same regarding my lifetime experience with barbers, car mechanics and doctors.

I suppose that I should take a moment to say that I don’t want to offend the really great and dedicated teachers who may read this. I will not. I’m criticizing people with a certain attitude and love for power and authority. Both the great teachers and the awful teachers know who they are.

So, if you are a parent, then be one all of the time. By defining yourself you will be defining a teachers’ job. That is, unless you really think that they love your kids in the same way that you do. You raise, they teach.

I touch the future, I whine.